This story goes into the believe it or not category.  A surgeon who built a £1.4 million home has turned half of it into a luxury kennel for her two Great Danes.

The surgeon who lives in Gloucestershire (UK) built the quarters to include a lounge and spa,  plasma TV, and sheepskin-lined beds.

The plush kennel, estimated to cost more than £250,000, will be the latest eccentric build on the Cotswold Water Park, already famous for its futuristic, sustainable designs and its population of beavers.

Sheepskin-lined, raised beds will allow the dogs to keep guard out of the windows, while in the lounge they can listen to a £15,000 sound system or enjoy shows on a 52in plasma screen TV.

A retina-controlled “dogflap” system allows them to come and go from the zinc, glass and limestone home with ease, keeping out undesirables.

A temperature-regulated Dogspa (with saline purification system) will ease their muscles and clean their coats after a hard day.

Cameras all around the property will allow the owner to watch her dogs online, wherever they roam.

The Dog House is divided into two bedrooms, and living room, all with the heat controlled remotely via the internet.

As if that isn’t enough, it also has an adventure play area and self-cleaning food bowls which dispense gourmet food. Obviously the economy woes haven’t effected these Great Danes.

I’m sure you all have the same thought as I do, if I die I’d like to come back as one of her dogs.

Drake, a Labrador Retriever, didn’t want to go duck hunting on Saturday.  He would much rather been playing fetch at the local park.

To put a stop to this unwanted activity he shot his owner in the buttocks. It worked, duck hunting was canceled.

Marcum was standing in the bay Saturday morning, about to tie up an 11-foot open aluminum boat, when his 3-year-old Labrador, Drake, jumped into the boat and set off the gun, his Father, Henry Marcum, said Sunday. The blast blew a hole in the boat before hitting Marcum.

His son was concerned about the dog, Henry Marcum said. “He’s a good dog. It’s just one of those things. It’s an accident.”

Matthew Marcum is in Portland’s Legacy Emanuel Hospital & Health Center, recovering from injuries to his legs and buttocks. Not much more I can add to this story.

* I didn’t have a picture of so I posted Dogster member River, who I’m pretty sure never shot his owner.

There are a few things that I must clarify before I go on with the story.  First, Bentley is a 50 lb. Boxer and Shar-Pei mix rescue that was adopted a month ago.  Second, the coffee house didn’t have a drive-thru.

It all started when musician owner, Bryan Maher, stopped at the Cool Beanz coffee shop in Long Island to sign up for open mike night. Maher left the car running because it was cold out and he didn’t want his newly adopted pup to freeze.  He figured it would only take a minute, what could happen?

“The next thing I knew, I looked up to see my van coming at me in the window, with Bentley in the driver’s seat grinning at me.”

“Bentley was driving a ‘92 Ford van!” marveled shop owner Patricia McCarthy, 57. “I was astonished, very much so.”

The crash left the shop’s glass front window cracked, some patio furniture busted and the van with minor damage, but neither Maher nor McCarthy was mad at the lovable dog, who was unscathed.

“Aw, Bentley was wagging his tail afterward,” said McCarthy. “He really is a sweet dog.”

Maher still got his booking for the Saturday open mic, and Bentley will be getting a new doggy jacket for Christmas to keep warm.

Here’s a story you don’t see often, junk mail that’s not only a nuisance but dangerous.

Colchester, UK: A HUNGRY hound lost both his bark and his bite when a bizarre accident left his jaws glued together.

Cymbeline, a Scottish terrier, is trained to pick up the post from the doormat and hand it over to his owner Kimberly Fisher, 41.

But the faithful pet came unstuck when a high gloss finish on a fast food menu stuck his jaws closed for more than half an hour.

Cymbeline was taught to pick up the post without damaging it, however this time was different.  Ms Fisher, his owner, said  “It was a big, high gloss paper menu which had turned into a paste - the gum stuck it between his teeth.”

“He was trying very hard to open his mouth. It was funny as well as sad.”

The Roosters fast-food menu, which ironically promises “mouth-watering results” for anyone who tries their chicken, was stuck fast and eventually Ms Fisher was forced to take Cymbeline to the vet.

Luckily after about 40 minutes the vet was able to get the stuff out.

Ben Bennett, the vet who treated Cymbeline, said: “It was really unusual, I’ve never seen anything like it before in 20 years so the chances of it happening again are pretty rare.”

Glad to hear Cymbeline is back to normal, hopefully he’ll be relieved of his post duty.

I’m thinking Swedish dogs don’t read English.  If they did they would have learned a lesson from the story the other day about the Pit Bull who drove the car through the car wash.

This incident was so unnecessary,  had those dogs ordered an English course from Rosetta Stone this tragedy could have been avoided.

A miniature Schnauzer and its Chinese Crested friend were fingered as the culprits in a Swedish runaway car incident, police said.

The canines were found curled up in the backseat of a car that had smashed through a fence and ended up in the yard of a home in the southern Swedish town of Skurup Friday, the Swedish news agency TT reported.

The homeowners initially thought the culprit had fled because no one was behind the wheel, but on closer investigation found the dogs on the backseat, uninjured but very frightened.

“The dogs had presumably managed to knock the gear box and put the car into neutral on a downhill slope while their owners were paying a visit to friends,” Calle Persson of the Skane police told TT.

Two important things to take away from this story.  Dogs like to visit with friends too and don’t appreciate being left in the car.  And for the dogs…remember to buckle up, not only is it a good idea, it’s the law.

To get the weekend off to a good start here’s a funny story from Pryor, Oklahoma.

While a man was washing his car at the local car wash his 70 lb. Pit Bull decided it needed another wash.

The dog jumped on the dashboard and sent the car in reverse.

The car backed out of the car wash bay, continued onto a highway and then looped around before coming to a stop at an automated car wash lane.

The car was impounded due to the owner not being able to show insurance.  The dog was licensed, city not driver’s, so the owner was allowed to leave with him and walk home.

Regulations. Some are good, others are bad.

According to our dog Bo, regulations of the bad variety include: limits on begging, constraints on the size of exercise yards and full bans on sleeping on the bed during hot summer nights.

Bo’s list of good regulations include: keeping poison out of dog food, requiring humans to look out for our well being and the rubbing of exposed bellies at least once a day.

So I read with interest about the new Animal Welfare Act from our friends in the UK.

Failing to notice your dog is getting fat, feeding it at the table and chocolate treats are all animal cruelty that could end up putting someone in jail under new government guidelines.

Chocolate, raisins or grapes are “poisonous” for pets, according to the code, while a dog should not be disturbed when eating as this can cause “food-related aggression”.

It also recommends that dogs should not be fed at the table as this can lead to begging - and that “curious” animals such as cats should be kept away from windows or tumble dryers.

Once again I turned to Bo for his thoughts, after all, this law does effect canines . “I thought this Act was for animal welfare? I agree about not being disturbed while dining on a nice slab of beef, but explain how keeping treats from me, and making me step on a scale every day, is going to help my self esteem?

And what’s the deal about not being fed at a table? What, were these regulations written in the 14th century?”

The new codes of practice for owners of dogs, cats and horses, just released for consultation, are part of the Animal Welfare Act 2006 to prevent cruelty. The guidance says that breaching the three codes will not in itself be a crime, but it could prove to be the deciding factor in whether an individual is found guilty in court of a pet welfare offense - which carries a maximum jail sentence of six months or a fine of up to £20,000.

The code of practice for dogs advises against taking a dog for a walk during the hottest part of the day or feeding it less than an hour before vigorous exercise in order to avoid “bloating”. Owners should groom dogs with long hair at least once a day and all dogs should have teeth cleaned with dog chews or canine toothpaste as part of routine care.

Training dogs should be done through “positive reinforcement” rather than punishment that can lead to behavioral problems in the future. Owners can spot signs of stress such as barking excessively, urinating indoors or yawning when not tired.

A spokesman said:”A new washing machine or pot plant comes with instructions, currently most pets do not. We think the new codes of practice will improve animal welfare and prevent animal suffering through education.”

Being dog lovers we all want the same thing, a well-loved happy dog.  While this law was written with good intent, it goes over the line into absurdity.

Oddly, Bo did come with instructions. They read, “Please feed, walk and cuddle often. It is natural for these acts of kindness to be returned in kind.”

Since I always like to leave things on an up note I have a funny story out of Australia.

I’ve heard of the dog eating your homework but never a car.

A DARWIN man woke yesterday to discover dogs had eaten his car.

And he says it’s not the first time it has happened.

Clayton Dwyer, 47, of Millner, thought his girlfriend was kidding when she woke him up and told him his work ute had been gnawed by a pack of savage dogs. But when he walked outside his Beetson Place home he discovered this was no joke.

His front bumper had been ripped from the car and chewed to bits by the dogs. They had even tried to munch on the front panels.

“You can see the teeth marks,” he said.

Asked what he thought when he first saw the damage, Mr Dwyer said: “Doggone it! That’s a bit ruff.”

The landscape gardener said the pack of wild dogs had been lurking around his neighbourhood for months.

“My girlfriend’s car got eaten about three months ago,” he said. “At first we thought it had been attacked with a hammer, but we took it to the panel beaters and he said it was dogs. You could see the teeth marks on it.”

Dwyer wasn’t sure if insurance would cover this.  Hmmm…I gonna have to say no.

Ever wonder what it would look like if your dog could talk?

There’s a fun site called Blabberize where you take a picture of your pet, combine it with a bit of technology, and end up with  pet blabber.

For those that are tecno challenged, not to worry. It’s really easy, you upload a photo and use a drawing tool to mark out where the mouth is, then record the audio using computer’s mic or you can even call it in.

Halloween is a week away,  busy doggy parents everywhere are scrambling to get ready.

According to a survey done by Dogster, 65% of dog owners will be including their pooches in Halloween festivities this year.

Fun doesn’t just mean staying home to answer the door and pawing out candy. Local pet supermarkets and boutiques host activities ranging from costume competitions to parades.  For a small fee, donated to charity, many of the sites offer a souvenir picture to take home.

This Sun., Oct. 26 the world’s largest Halloween pet event will once again be hosted by the Haute Dog. The Howl’oween Parade, as seen on TV, had more than 600 costumed dogs in the 2007 parade and expects an even bigger turnout this year.

You still have time to join in all the Haute Dog events so be sure to stop by and visit their site for all the fun filled details.

So..will these pups be showing up dressed to the nines or au natural?  Dogster’s survey showed 40% of dog owners have definite plans to dress up their pets, and 72% of those plan to buy their costumes rather than make them at home.

For dogs entering contests, Haute Dog founder Justin Rudd suggests tried-and-true ways to beat the competition. “You’ve got to do something to stand out. It could be a motorized float or a grouping of dogs. In last year’s parade, we had five pugs in jail suits, riding in a wagon called the Pugitentiary.” Other winners included a choo-choo train, gnome, grim reaper, aviator, geisha and lobster.

Casey Whitcher, owner of the high-volume web retailer GlamourDog, says newly available costumes are always the most popular, and October brings in huge sales-second only to the December holiday rush.  They have great costumes, new styles for 2008 as well as the perennial favorites.  Check it out soon, there’s not much time left to order for  arrival before Halloween.

While dressing your dog up may be fun for you, it isn’t always fun for your furry pal. According to Dogster’s survey 43% of the respondents admitted their costumed pooches resent having to wear holiday garb, though many end up in it nonetheless. The majority of dogs, though, can’t wait to embrace the eerie events-according to their human companions anyway.

Survey Highlights

* 65% of dog owners will be including their pooches in Halloween festivities this year.

* 40% have definite plans to dress up their dogs.

* 72% of those dressing up their dogs will be buying their outfits rather than making them at home.

* 46% percent think the coolest costume last year was Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean.

* 43% say their pets resent wearing costumes.

* 19% of dog owners say their pets love getting gussied up for Halloween-the more outrageous the outfit, the better.

Remember,  Halloween night is often accompanied by noises your dog isn’t used to, which can be scary.  There are some safety tips to keep in mind to make this a fun and safe day for all.

Boo!